It’s the day before a national Holiday where families traditionally gather together, give thanks for things, eat to the point of excess, complain about our overeating, watch football and nap.
This year I found myself struggling to find things to be thankful for, or to even actually care that the Holiday was here.. it’s a really tough time for me personally.. as I am sure it is for many many others..
While Holiday’s often serve as a time to allow family and friends to come together and be surrounded in a loving, happy, joy filled (albeit oftentimes severely dysfunctional) environment, they also can serve to remind us of our lack of connection, forgotten friends and missing family.
This will be a Thanksgiving spent alone.. my kids will be with their mother at her family’s, my family is gathering but I am unable to attend, and I honestly have no interest in joining friends and feigning enjoyment or forcing a faked smile upon my face.
I realize this may seem morose or self pitying.. it isn’t.. It’s just honest.
I am indeed thankful you see, I am thankful for everything I have in my life, for the people who have come to matter most to me and for the sheer fact that I am here to type this today.
I am thankful that I was blessed with two amazingly beautiful children with kind healthy hearts and beautiful souls…I am thankful that I get to see them, talk to them and feel loved by them.
I am thankful that I have found that I still hold the capacity to care, that I have people in my life who have chosen to reciprocate my affection and I am thankful to know what it means to truly love another person.
Finding things to be thankful for shouldn’t be a task, but oftentimes it is.. there are days that may seem dark.. days when everything is awesome.. good, bad or indifferent.. at least it’s another day we are given the chance to live.. whether or not we choose to enjoy it or deplore it.. is up to us..
So, whether or not you are stuffing your face, wiping away tears or sitting and being still with your thoughts tomorrow, if you are reading this now.. please know I am also thankful for having come to know so very many of you as well..