I hold her with gentle desperation
trying in vain to delay the coming dawn

Knowing the rising of the sun will again tear her from my arms

Both of us returning the masks
Resuming the roles
Living the lies
Smiling at memories

This.

I don’t wish you to ease my pain
Rather let its sweet sting
Remind me of a life well lived
Let the wrinkles round my eyes
Show the world I once smiled
Let the greying of my hair
Show that I have cared
The fire in my gaze
That once blazed brightly
Now smolders with quiet intensity
The shadows once chased
So quick and fleeting
Have grown longer
I have survived.
That is more than I ever Expected.

This might be my favorite meme.. for we all have scars.. a means of unification for us all if you will.. 

We have the apparent discolorations on the surface of our skin due to traumatic injuries.. we have the whimsical little marks that might hold memories of both good or bad times.. we have the inevitable scrapes, bumps, cuts and blemishes that come as part and parcel having survived year after year in a world that can be, at times, unforgiving to accident. 

Some of us have battle scars, whether gained in formal conflict with an adversary, or perhaps an even more personal struggle with the demons within ourselves. 

Scars tells stories, give warnings, and communicate to the rest of the world. That we are survivors, those who have been tested and have overcome life’s obstacles in order that we might still be able to stand before them.. 

Then there are the scars we constantly feel but cannot show.  The marks upon our Psyche, the damages inflicted on our souls, the slings and arrows our hearts have suffered through. Were these scars to be evident to the world, we’d likely embody some Frankenstein like visage utterly terrifying to behold.. 

Imagine, every harsh word uttered against us by one we trusted leaves an indelible scratch, like a razor scraped on the skin.. Every love lost or unrequited is like a jagged rip in surface of our hearts.. each betrayal of trust leaves an open wound… Every person whom we may have loved, who is taken from us either thru tragedy, accident or age, those torn from us by their own hand, all take a piece of us with them.. 

It is all these invisible scars that make us who we are.. they are the what allow us to walk with pride, our simple physical scars showing, for these paltry blemishes pale in comparison to the true depth of injury we have likely endured up until this point.. 

Revel in your scars.. display them proudly.. because they show that you have loved, laughed and lost.. but also. more importantly, that you have lived.. 

M

This might be my favorite meme.. for we all have scars.. a means of unification for us all if you will.. 

We have the apparent discolorations on the surface of our skin due to traumatic injuries.. we have the whimsical little marks that might hold memories of both good or bad times.. we have the inevitable scrapes, bumps, cuts and blemishes that come as part and parcel having survived year after year in a world that can be, at times, unforgiving to accident. 

Some of us have battle scars, whether gained in formal conflict with an adversary, or perhaps an even more personal struggle with the demons within ourselves. 

Scars tells stories, give warnings, and communicate to the rest of the world. That we are survivors, those who have been tested and have overcome life’s obstacles in order that we might still be able to stand before them.. 

Then there are the scars we constantly feel but cannot show.  The marks upon our Psyche, the damages inflicted on our souls, the slings and arrows our hearts have suffered through. Were these scars to be evident to the world, we’d likely embody some Frankenstein like visage utterly terrifying to behold.. 

Imagine, every harsh word uttered against us by one we trusted leaves an indelible scratch, like a razor scraped on the skin.. Every love lost or unrequited is like a jagged rip in surface of our hearts.. each betrayal of trust leaves an open wound… Every person whom we may have loved, who is taken from us either thru tragedy, accident or age, those torn from us by their own hand, all take a piece of us with them.. 

It is all these invisible scars that make us who we are.. they are the what allow us to walk with pride, our simple physical scars showing, for these paltry blemishes pale in comparison to the true depth of injury we have likely endured up until this point.. 

Revel in your scars.. display them proudly.. because they show that you have loved, laughed and lost.. but also. more importantly, that you have lived.. 

M

It’s the day before a national Holiday where families traditionally gather together, give thanks for things, eat to the point of excess, complain about our overeating, watch football and nap. 

This year I found myself struggling to find things to be thankful for, or to even actually care that the Holiday was here.. it’s a really tough time for me personally.. as I am sure it is for many many others..

While Holiday’s often serve as a time to allow family and friends to come together and be surrounded in a loving, happy, joy filled (albeit oftentimes severely dysfunctional) environment, they also can serve to remind us of our lack of connection, forgotten friends and missing family. 

This will be a Thanksgiving spent alone.. my kids will be with their mother at her family’s, my family is gathering but I am unable to attend, and I honestly have no interest in joining friends and feigning enjoyment or forcing a faked smile upon my face.

I realize this may seem morose or self pitying.. it isn’t.. It’s just honest.  

I am indeed thankful you see, I am thankful for everything I have in my life, for the people who have come to matter most to me and for the sheer fact that I am here to type this today. 

I am thankful that I was blessed with two amazingly beautiful children with kind healthy hearts and beautiful souls…I am thankful that I get to see them, talk to them and feel loved by them.

I am thankful that I have found that I still hold the capacity to care, that I have people in my life who have chosen to reciprocate my affection and I am thankful to know what it means to truly love another person.

Finding things to be thankful for shouldn’t be a task, but oftentimes it is.. there are days that may seem dark.. days when everything is awesome.. good, bad or indifferent.. at least it’s another day we are given the chance to live.. whether or not we choose to enjoy it or deplore it.. is up to us.. 

So, whether or not you are stuffing your face, wiping away tears or sitting and being still with your thoughts tomorrow, if you are reading this now.. please know I am also thankful for having come to know so very many of you as well.. 

Michael

Haven’t been posting here much at all.. bu this one i couldn’t fit into the 140 of twitter.  

Was thinking of veterans day and what it means to me.. I’ve never served the country, beyond a few years in ROTC in High School and watching every John Wayne movie ever made and reading every Vietnam era book written, my experience with the military comes from interacting with family members who served.  My uncle was a Marine who served in Vietnam, his father served in WWII at the Battle of the Bulge.

I do have a huge appreciation for the men and women who choose to defend our country.. I thank them for their service, for doing their jobs.

But even more than the veterans, I want to thank their families.. the Mother’s and Father’s who watch helplessly as their children are put into harms way.  The husbands and wives who go about their daily lives not knowing when or where they might next see their soldier, but remaining faithful and in love. 

I looked at my son as he slept this morning.. and was reminded of a moment very shortly after he was born.  My uncle, the marine, saw me holding him in the hospital room, tears glistening in my eyes, never more proud of anything and never more in love than I was at that moment with this new little life.  He looked at me and put his hand on my shoulder and asked, “can you imagine sending him off to war?”.. 

I support our troops, their choices, the job they do.. But on this veterans day, I say my thanks to the families who have suffered losses I can’t imagine, who have not been given a choice in their sacrifice.. for this, I thank you.. 

Part costume, part uniform.

(via little-harmonica)